I gave my first 'talk' tonight. Although I've been dabbling a little since leading our little community this was the first in front of the 'whole' of Cardiff Vineyard. I was real nervous and felt very uncomfortable all the way through despite genuinely believing that what I had to share was what God gave me.

I spoke on the Kingdom of God using The Matrix as an analogy. The Matrix being what we see around us as opposed to the spiritual realm and the Kingdom which is where the action is (obviously).

My Dad gave me some good pointers afterwards. He was going to save them so as not to bring me down but I was just pleased to be breathing and they weren't negative as such. Pointers: give more eye contact; don't play with a pen - is distracting; use your notes less; watch people who are used to communicating (e.g. comedians) - learn from them about using your voice.

Feedback on the talk was good. I'm really going to have to learn to trust those around me. I am very reluctant to take seriously the comments of those around me - in fact the more they know me the less I trust them thinking "they must be just being nice." And then when they do compliment I try to drag it out to see if I can really believe them. Enough on that.

A new adventure and a whole load of new issues to deal with! Goodnight.