Last week I was thinking about the concept of eternal life starting now. It dawned on me that the scenario where people say, regarding tattoos, "you might like it now, but what about when you're 80," is altogether less frightening when you view this life as transient. Life is short, and in light of that fact, perhaps the attitude that is more natural to take is "why wouldn't I want to get that tattoo now? I only have a short time, why not try this stuff out now, while I can?"

I know it's a silly example, but my (rather convoluted) point is that perspective really does make a big difference.

This week is the run up to the National Leaders' Conference in Bournemouth.

On Saturday night we went to Po Na Na to hear Sim DJ and celebrate Emelie's birthday. It was a good night - Sim played some great US house, with everything from gospel vocals to the walking bass lines of funk records. Emma and I were the most hardcore, dancing from 10.30pm-1.50am.

By Sunday night my voice was well on its way out and I'm now full of cold...thank goodness for lemsip!

Wow, it's been almost a whole week since I last posted. Things in Bristol are going pretty well and are very busy. This week I've been sorting out the finishing touches to the latest edition of cuttingedge:uk, working on which has been great fun.

This morning I was doing some teaching on Form, the discipleship programme at BV. The subject was Acts, and was based on How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth by Fee and Stuart (a great book which I'm sure I didn't do justice!) Complications arose from the fact that the swedes (3/5 of the group) aren't back up to full translating strength, but we got through it and finished with some great Rissotto from Rachael and Emma.

On Monday I was talking to Andrew about my future career. As mentioned in my last post, I often find it difficult to find the 'one thing' that I'm to focus on amid all my varied interests. He's pretty good with quips, and this weeks one was "over analysis leads to paralysis" - one that I'm certain is true (often in my own life!)

The Poverty of Finiteness
One of the highlights of this week was a meal with Tim and Julie. We talked for hours about things like church planting, justice, and deciding what to do with the rest of your life. The latter was something that has been on my mind for a while - knowing that there are probably a number of different avenues I could go down and trying to work out where God is actually leading me.

Tim used the phrase 'the poverty of finiteness' to express this dilemma - the idea that while there are any number of things we might do with our lives, we are limited by the span of our lives. My Grandpa once told me that one of his only regrets was doing too much, rather than focussing on a few things and doing them well.

I want to learn from my Grandpa's experience, I want to find what it is that I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life and do it well.

I was about to clock-off when I realised that it's been too long since I last blogged. Things here at BV are slowly picking up after the Christmas lull, people arriving back in dribs and drabs (especially when it comes to the students).

I'm really praying that this will be a year when I learn to trust God in a way that I haven't experienced up until now. Over Christmas I spent some time thinking and praying through an area in my life that I find it particularly hard to trust Him in: money!

This (academic) year has really seen the ante upped in this area, living without a fixed wage and without that immediate connection between what I do and what I receive. What an interesting adventure.

I arrived back in Bristol last night. As I sat in the big, quiet house I was struck by the fact that the last ten days had passed so quickly.

This morning the alarm sounded at 7.30pm and I snoozed until 7.45. After a Christmas of 9am starts waking this early was painful.

Happy New Year everyone!

It's the last day of 2004 and I've been doing some reflecting, thinking about the past year and the one ahead. I'm both excited and apprehensive about the future, knowing some of what is ahead though only in broad strokes, rather than fine detail. It's the detail that always bothers me.

Since being home I've enjoyed catching up with friends, hanging out with family and having the opportunity to rest. I'm in a strange place at the moment, a time of training, a time of getting used to being out of my comfort zone, a time of knowing I am between places. In the past month I've been learning a little of what it means to be content wherever you are and whatever you are doing, though I know I still have tons to learn.

Past leanings towards the poor and to issues of justice, which for a while I had put on the back-burner, seem to be resurfacing within me. While I don't know how their outworking will look, I know that to ignore them would be like lying to myself.

I just pray that God will continue to guide me as I take these little baby steps in following him.

Christmas Reading
"The story of Christmas, properly understood, asserts that God is not best imagined as an all-powerful despot but as a vulnerable and pathetic child. It's a statement about the nature of divine power. But in the hands of conservative theologians, the Nicene religion of the baby and the cross is a way of distracting attention away from the teachings of Christ. It's a form of religion that concentrates on things like belief in the virgin birth while ignoring the fact that the gospels are much more concerned about the treatment of the poor and the forgiveness of enemies..." [read more]
-Giles Fraser in today's The Guardian

I'm heading back to Cardiff in a few hours. It'll be nice to see friends and family and to find out what's been going on since I've been away. If I don't blog before, have a great Christmas!

My friend Tom is playing at Cardiff Barfly on the 28th of December.

I had a nice, chilled-out 22nd birthday on Sunday. My Mum, Dad and Zoë came over and we went out to Wagamama, currently my favourite restaurant, for lunch. I recommend the vegetarian Yasai Katsu Curry.

Afterwards we drove back via the Downs, which were beautifully lit by a low winter sun. When we got back to the house we ate cake and hung out with Steve and Claire. An enjoyable birthday, though less rawkus than I'm accustomed to!

My photos from the trip to Vancouver and Seattle are now online. click here

I figured it was about time I gave you an update on the Vancouver/Seattle ministry trip that I was on last week, so here goes…

Vancouver
The 29th November 2004 was my first 36 hour day. On arrival at Bristol bus station at about 8am I found a rather cold Don awaiting our bus to Heathrow Airport. We found Abi in the café whispering sweet nothings to her fiancé (now husband) Matt. A few moments later Sim arrived and the dream team was complete.

We travelled many an hour, from coach to plane, to people carrier, but finally arrived at Margie and Marcie’s house, two ladies who were looking after six of us during our stay in Vancouver. The first thing that struck me in Canada was the size on the roads, the size of the cars, and how spread out everything is. I was tired, so it’s not surprising that my memories of my first night in the country were fairly vague.

I fell asleep at 7pm (8 hours behind GMT) and woke at 7.20am feeling great and very blessed that my excitement at visiting a foreign land hadn’t hindered my rest. Marcie fed us very well the two mornings that we had the time to have a large breakfast – eggs, crepes, caramel and maple syrup were the order of the day! We felt so welcomed and encouraged to relax and enjoy our time with them.

On Tuesday we went to the mall, my first experience of a North American consumer paradise and I think we stayed too long (4 hours total). It was interesting to check out Wal-Mart (I pray I never have to step into one of them again) and to try a Taco Bell (tasteless food, but at least they had Root Beer).

In the evening we attended a leadership training evening on the subject of ‘intentional community,’ where Andrew spoke and the we mingled with the discussion tables.

Wednesday was a day for exploring downtown Vancouver. We took the Sky Train and then the Sea Bus, divided so that some could go up Grouse Mountain and others could find ‘urbana.’ Sim, Abi and I found ourselves in Gas Town, where we met a girl who tried to convince us to eat at Brothers (a restaurant). We asked her where we could find independent record shops and nice coffee houses and she sent us in the direction of Commercial Drive. We then took the long way: bus, train, bus, train.

On one of the busses we met an old lady called Grace who was enthusiastic about the merits of fruit. She told us that she “should have died” years before, but owes her continued existence to eating fresh fruit. She also informed us that she had asthma, arthritis and cancer. It turned out our stop was the same as hers and, as we got off the bus, Sim chased after her and asked if we could pray for her ailments. She agreed to us praying for her there, on the street, so we did. When we had finished she prayed for us, that God would bless us on our trip.

That evening we went to one of Southside’s evening celebrations, where all four congregations come together. Andrew spoke and we ministered. One of the coolest parts of that night was having the opportunity to pray with a group of teenagers in the church. Earlier in the evening I sensed that God wanted us to pray for those who were under twenty-five, and when Matt called the teenagers forward I knew this was the time.

Seattle
We woke up at 5am on Thursday morning so that we could be ready for our 6am pick up. The aim was to get to Seattle for 10am and our Canadian escorts knew we might be some time crossing the border. The journey went smoothly and we switched vehicles in a Starbucks car-park somewhere near Seattle. This leg of the journey was with Wayne and Dusty in their van that closely resembled the A-Team van. They took us to Yakima, the self professed ‘Palm Springs of Washington,’ where we hung out with the leadership team of Yakima Vineyard, a great bunch of people.

In the evening there was a get-together with the all the leaders in the church where Andrew told us, during the ministry time, that if we were going to give words they had to be specific, i.e. point at someone and say ‘I think God is saying this for you,’ rather than just ‘I think there’s someone here who has this going on in their life.’ I found this kind of scary because it was something I had never done before, and I was expecting that if I gave a word to someone it would turn out to be completely ‘off.’ So as we stood there at the front I was praying like crazy and was, rather politely, letting everyone else go ahead of me! After having a word for one person go around in my head for what seemed like forever I decided to grit my teeth and tell the individual what I felt God was saying. The amazing thing is that it was entirely relevant and we were able to pray together! I was blown away.

Friday was another early morning as we departed at around 6.30am for Seattle where the ELI (Emerging Leaders Initiative) conference was to take place. We started off with a Leaders Roundtable where we talked about planting communities of faith in a secular context. A lot of this involved the post-intentional debate as we tried to explain that a lot of this stuff is intuitive.

In the afternoon we went up the space needle and chilled out, but that’s a story I’ve already told.

On Saturday morning Abi told her story and spoke on allowing God into your whole life, which was great and led into a really special time of prayer. In the afternoon Matt spoke very briefly on healing, but mostly on following Jesus. He ended by sending everyone out to pray for people on the street. That night we spent some time sharing stories from the afternoon and then Chris spoke on prophecy and we had a clinic time.

Afterwards Sim and I went back to the house we were staying at with Kyle and Ian and some of the other people from the conference. We chilled out to the likes of Michael Jackson, Prince and Madonna! We also learnt to hi-five in true American style.

Sunday we visited the Vineyard Community Church in Shoreline (the venue of the ELI conference) where Don spoke on Jeremiah. It’s great having this extended family across the globe.

That afternoon Kyle took us shopping in downtown Seattle where everything was half what it would cost in the UK. We went for pizza in the U-District and then retired to the house where we started watching Jackie Brown. I never did make it through that film…

Some new music I picked up in the US of A...

The Postal Service "Give Up"
Sim, Abi and I were in a coffee house on Commercial Drive in Vancouver when we first heard this. It's kind of electronica meets chilled out American indie and is a side project of the singer from Deathcab for Cutie. I love it.

Pedro the Lion "Achilles Heel"
This is the latest recording from Pedro and is real interesting. At times strongly influenced by the likes of Radiohead and Coldplay, though not to a degree that is offputting. The raw guitar sounds in this album are what I love the most.

Ironically while I was there I had a conversation with a guy called George (part of Shoreline Vineyard, Seattle) in which he told me that all the best music comes out of the UK. At the time I agreed with him and didn't let on that most of my favourite bands are from the US!

Blackout!
I walked through the door at 6.15pm on Tuesday after around 17 hours of travelling and got into bed around 9pm. The next morning I finally woke at 8am oblivious to the fact that my clock had been ringing (or more accurately beeping) since 7.30am.

Having prepared myself for the day ahead I jumped on my bike at around 9.55pm and headed to the office. On my arrival I was chatting with Grace, she asked me how the trip had gone. I started to think "where should I start" when I began to notice I was getting light-headed.

Four minutes later I was sat on the sofa in the office as Grace took the bag off my back. My mouth was sore and Andrew was now downstairs asking "what happened?" Apparently I had blacked out, fallen forward and smacked my head on Grace's desk. Fortunately I had my cycling helmet on at the time so I just had a bit of a fat lip, a small cut on my right arm and mis-shapen glasses. According to Grace, my eyes were open the whole time.

Day 2 of ELI (Emerging Leaders Initiative) and we're having fun. Yesterday afternoon we went to the Seattle Space Needle, which was really interesting - good views. By the time we returned we were all so tired that we just KOd on the sofas in the Senior Pastors' office. We were fed, had prayer etc. and God really gave us the energy and expectancy to go on.

Afterwards Sim and I hung out with our new friends Ian and Kyle, who we helped house-sit one of their friends' houses. On the way home Kyle asked us "what do you guys want for breakfast?" To which Sim jokingly replied "sausage, bacon, eggs, toast, pancakes, muffins, coffee, orange juice..." We were so tired that everything seemed funny - especially the names of the products we put on our 'toasting buscuits' (english muffins) - Smuckers Jam, Skippy Peanut Butter.

There does seem to be way more fruit in the US than in Canada, which surprised me - I anticipated it being the other way around.

We've literally just strolled in to Seattle Vineyard. There's an Emerging leaders' conference starting in 10 minutes, so just a quick update. So far we've visited Vancouver, eaten very well, stayed in Yakima and hung out with the guys from Southside Community Church and Yakima Vineyard respectively.

Late nights and early mornings probably mean that when I look at this on arrival back home it won't make great grammatical sense, but who cares.

We drove through the mountains this morning, in the mist. At first it was so misty that Abi asked "are we driving to heaven." Matt claims he saw a coyote and a sign on a diner saying "Jesus is Lord, we accept Visa." The cars are big and the
"gas" is scarily cheap.

I'm taking photos and will blog more substantially on my return.

Yesterday I had the joy of teaching on Form, the discipleship course that is being run for the first time at Bristol Vineyard this year. We dialogued on the subject of God's grace and what our response to this great mystery should be. It was lots of fun. I also discovered what a huddle is.

Prayer request: my nose seems to be running today. Since I arrived at Bristol, three months ago, I've had three head colds. I'd really appreciate it if you would pray that this one doesn't stick as we're going on a ministry trip to Vancouver and Seattle on Monday.

Am I the only person in the world who doesn't love U2s music? I mean I can listen to it and think "this is good music," but it never really hits me in the heart. I never really connect with it.

Samuel Turrigiano has arrived! He was born yesterday afternoon. Congratulations Matt and Rebecca!

The weekend was yet another whirlwind. We had a fun Alpha day on Saturday at the House of the Open Door (yes it was as cold as it sounds).

Baby Turrigiano is apparently very close to arriving. Very exciting!

Last night a group of us went to see The Verra Cruz at The Fleece. As usual they rocked. They were supporting X is Loaded who are pretty interesting and remind me a little of bands like Sparta. One of the funniest parts of the gig was when the singer came out into the crowd, jumped up on the bar, then got down and started singing into the mic, surrounded by people, accompanied by the guy selling t-shirts.

Those of you in Cardiff, check them out at the Barfly tomorrow night (Sat 20th).

Ask anyone who blogs and they'll tell you that, when you sit down to update your blog, all the interesting ideas and news that you've had for the last week vanish and your mind goes blank.

This week the news in question is the fact that Megan has started walking! She's currently only doing this between people, and only for about 5 steps, but she's walking!

I've been trying to work out exercises that she can do to strengthen her legs and improve balance...

Now I'm greatly in favour of the fair trade movement, but it seems that for the time being, if you are male, you have to make a choice between fair trade and fashion. Surely the two weren't meant to be mutually exclusive?

Girls, on the other hand get a wide variety of choice some of which is really nice.

The last few days I have been struck by the number of people God has put around me who speak words of encouragement into my life. It's such a blessing.

The word party is over-used. I mean do you really know what someone means when they say "we're having a party, would you like to come?" A perfect example of this happened when we were in Nottingham for Doing the Stuff.

Chris, Rob and I had been out to Dogma and were eating some toast in Chris' kitchen when his next door neighbours invited us to "a party." I think we all assumed it was the kind of party with loads of people, a vibrant atmosphere and good music. Unfortunately it was one of those other kinds of parties, the kind when there are just a couple of people getting stoned.

Needless to say we made as speedy an exit as we could, but not before Chris had downloaded his music onto their computer.

I'm sure there are hundreds of types of parties - perhaps there needs to be a rule where if you invite someone to a party you define it.

My Weekend
Life has certainly upped its pace since I moved to Bristol. I'm sat in the office after another crazy weekend - Heart and Skill, the (musical) worship training day, came to Bristol on Saturday so the day was spent running the day, hanging out with delegates and those teaching the day. It was great fun.

Each day of the weekend I saw some Cardiff Vineyardites. Friday night was my Dad's 50th Birthday party. They hired a venue in Cardiff and got a band in. There were so many people there, 1/3 of which I didn't recognise, but who recognised me. I hate it when you don't recognise someone and they're saying "do you remember me?" and I'm thinking "will you be offended if I don't?" So sorry if I offended anyone by my lack of recognition!

Last night Mark (Evans), Mark (Churchill) and I led some worship songs at Vineyard Late. I really enjoyed playing with those guys.

New skill of the weekend: operating a video projector.

Saturday night we returned from Nottingham weak, weary and very excited about everything we had seen God do while we were there.

On Friday afternoon I went out with a group of people offering prayer for healing in Nottingham City Centre. It was amazing because as soon as we put up the sign offering "prayer for healing" there was a steady flow of people coming to receive prayer and free chocolate (a small token of God's love).

Saturday I was hanging out with some of the people from the Arches - a centre which provides anything from sofas and toys to coffee and prayer to refugees and the poor in Nottingham.

I've really felt God speaking to me recently about confidence and where I find it. Often we talk about wanting self-confidence, but I don't really think that's what God intends. He wants us to be reliant on him for confidence and purpose. Part of finding confidence in God involves getting over the 'self.' it means seeing that the Kingdom of God is far bigger and more important than your own hang-ups and insecurities.

This weekend is about relaxing with family. We're having a short break to celebrate my Dad's 50th Birthday, which is coming up on Wednesday.

The 'Old Faithfuls' in our society give us a sense of context. They are the people of history, who are still alive. They tell of a time that has passed but which, through their life, is still within reach. When the old die out the young are forced to take their place.

John Peel was one of those 'Old Faithfuls.' He was one of the only constants in a scene that is dominated by the throw-away. As the longest running DJ on Radio 1 he flew in the face of this disposability of culture and the worship of youth.

Apparently he presented his shows as though he was talking to one individual. It really came across. Listening to his show was like being introduced to music by an old friend, who had been collecting music especially with you in mind.

Farewell old friend.

This week has been pretty fun. I think I'm getting into the swing of this internship a little more. I guess any change of lifestyle takes some getting used to.

I'm really enjoying spending time with my new smallgroup. On Saturday night a group of us went out in Bristol - ended up at an R'n'B club called The Level, which, I have to admit isn't the greatest club I've ever been to, but it was fun.

I'm looking for Bristol's equivalent of the Toucan Club - a live music venue specialising in funk. Any suggestions?

On Thursday I'm heading up to Nottingham for Doing the Stuff, which should be great.

Q. In our society, is it the case that the more people a Church "employs" (work in exchange for money), the harder it is to mobilise the membership (in every-member-ministry)? Is there an element of 'why should I do it when (fill in blank) is paid to do it?'

Apologies for a very slack week of blogging. Things have been real busy and have gone from fun to homesick to fun again in the course of a few days.

Wednesday night Mark, Zoe and my Mum and Dad came over ready for the Vineyard South West Regional day - for people planting churches in that area. It was great to see them and have some catch-up time though, as usual, it didn't last long enough.

In the evening I started a Fusion small group at 419 Gloucester Rd. It was fun hanging out, looking at what we are about as a group, eating Jaffa Cakes, and hanging out some more.

Friday night our new band got together to practise, jam and prepare some songs for Sunday morning. It was really good fun - they're a great bunch and I'm sure we'll have a really enjoyable year.

Saturday was downtime, a chance to do very little and really enjoy just being.

Yesterday after the morning service we went to The Wellington on Gloucester Road for their Sunday roast. I had the veggie option which included a quarter of a butternut squash with melted cheese and tomato slices. Very tasty. Don't you just love root vegetables!

This weekend was a blast. We've had Mike Turrigiano over from NYC Vineyard teaching some Vineyard basics: in the moment ministry, praying for people, Kingdom of God.

Friday night was all the BV leaders together for some training (inc. 'clinic' time). Saturday a load of us went to Winchester for a leaders day for Vineyards in the South - was great to see some old friends and meet some new ones. Finally on Sunday Mike spoke some more on the Kingdom and worldview etc. All in all a great few days.

the blackspot sneaker is here...

On Monday night Mark came over and we ate roasted vegetables and talked for hours. It was great to catch up on everything that is going on in Cardiff and to hear what God has been up to in the lives of my friends.

Last night was Alpha - we ate great food and hung out with some new friends. Anne, a lady in Bristol Vineyard, bakes great cakes and last night we got to taste her carrot cake. mmmmm.

Following the auditions on Sunday I've been put in a band with Rachel, who was the first sung worship leader at Cardiff Vineyard, which should be great fun. In fact if it wasn't for her leaving Cardiff when she graduated I may never have started using the guitar in worship.

Sarah-Lou is now blogging...

Yesterday was pretty crazy, doing various studenty things. At 4.30pm I was at Bristol CU's search for a church event, which involved around 50 students (and me!) crammed into a small room hearing from other students about the churches they are part of.

I've never heard the word "sound" used so many times. It got me thinking how sad it would be if the only words we could think of to describe our communities were that they were "sound." I might be completely off the mark here, but when I read about the New Testament church I don't get the sense that the attraction in their community was the fact that they were doctrinally correct. It seems that what was far more appealing was the fact that they embodied the Kingdom.

I'm not saying that good doctrine is wrong, but when it's the only emphasis in your community it might be time to worry.

This morning I got homesick listening to the Lost Prophets on my shower radio, which is kind of ironic because back in Cardiff no one over the age of 17 with any sense of pride would admit to liking the Prophets. I'm going to have to hear their latest album before I pass any judgement.

Last night at UWE went well, I met some great people who I'm sure I'll be seeing more of in the next year.

Although I've been back in work since Monday, I'm still battling with this illness. I'm really hoping it doesn't become a chest infection.

Last night was Alpha: "who was Jesus?" which was good fun. The best part about Alpha is meeting new people and dialoguing on these things. The more outrageous the beliefs of the people in your group the more fun!

Tonight I'm off to the UWE CU to meet some freshers and tell them about Bristol Vineyard. Sunday is the Bristol CU equivalent, but they don't let non-students talk at it, so I'm on the lookout for a willing student at BV.

The other night Claire had a dream that she was smuggling cocain and that I was trying to stop her so she shot me in the leg.

Yesterday I awoke to find, in the pile of letters on my bedside cabinet, a letter written in some foreign script. My first thought was that I’d somehow, overnight, forgotten how to read. I went downstairs and asked Steve if he could read this alien handwriting. He couldn’t, so all was forgotten until later in the day when he asked Claire if she knew anything about it.

It turns out that Claire had been cleaning in the bathroom during the week and had found the letter behind the toilet. Not recognising the writing she assumed (and this is absolutely true) that someone had been writing in tongues. Her next question was: ‘who in this household would try writing in tongues?’ And came to the conclusion that it must have been me.

Now she assumed that I would be embarrassed if she let on that she had found my ‘experiment’ and decided to sneak the letter into my bedroom so as not to raise any suspicion.

This year is going to be fun…

On Monday I went to Hull with Andrew to meet with Jeremy, who leads Hull Vineyard. Last time I visited Hull it took 8 hours on the National Express, so I was glad we were driving this time and arrived in half the time. Hull was nicer than I remember it being - although it was very cold.

27th September (Monday) is the start of term at Bristol Uni and UWE, so I'm trying to get ready for the arrival of students at BV. There's an evening service starting called 'Vineyard Late' which I'm hoping to use as a base for planting Fusion cells.

My throat is sore today, which is frustrating because I had a cold just over a week ago and I want my voice to be fixed so I can start doing music stuff.

I think that's all the news for now.

The recipe below is one that Steve has introduced me to since I've been living with them. It's very tasty.

Time is flying, although this weekend wasn't quite as fast as last. Friday evening I went to a Leaders' training session, which was fun - met some new people. On Saturday I mooched and did housework.

Today is grey and miserable outside. Let's hope it's not pathetic fallacy.

Couscous, Halloumi and Chargrilled Vegetables

Ingredients:
1 tbsp olive oil
1 Courgette
2 Peppers (1 red, 1 green)
4 Button mushrooms
2 Tomatoes (quartered)
1 pack of Halloumi (cubed)
1/2 Large onion
1/2-1 tsp. Harissa Sauce + garlic (to taste)
Salt and Pepper (to season)

Couscous:
300g Couscous
1 pint Vegetable stock

Garnish:
142ml Greek Yoghurt
1/4 cucumber
A few sprigs of fresh mint

Directions:
1. Heat olive oil in a griddle pan and fry garlic for 1 minute.
2. Add onions, peppers, and Harissa sauce and fry until crispy.
3. Add Halloumi and fry until golden.

For Couscous:
Place couscous in a large bowl and add the vegetable stock in stages: initially enough to cover, then fluff with a fork, adding more as required. Keep covered when not fluffing to retain heat.

For accompanying garnish:
Add finely chopped mint leaves, cucumber (diced small), salt and pepper to the greek yoghurt.

I haven't blogged for a few days as I've been out of the office. Cardiff at the weekend was great, saying Happy Birthday to Rob, seeing family and friends, and (not so great) saying goodbye to Sharon (she's moved back to Nottingham to finish her course).

Then on Monday Sarah-Lou and I went to the Fusion Training conference in Northampton, which was very interesting and allowed us to find out about running Fusion cells in our local communities.

Congratulations are in order. Llewellyn Parfitt was born yesterday afternoon, weighing in at 9 pounds 1 ounce. Congratulations Lewis and Maria!

Emotionally, life in Bristol is beginning to feel more normal. I no longer have that panicked "what am I doing here?" feeling, which really helps.

I'm also beginning to find my way around - last night I rode to the watershed cinema without the use of a map and in pretty good time - 15 minutes there and 17 minutes back (because of the hills). I was meeting Julian, a friend who was in my Politics class for A-Levels, and he showed me around a little as we caught up on the last 3 years.

Chris is coming down today and I'm hopefully having lunch with him tomorrow, which will be fun.

We're driving to London in an hour to pick up Andrew.

On Sunday we went to a Greek place called Yia Mas, which is on Park Street. It was a kind of restaraunt-come-bar-come-club and there was standing room only as the DJ played the best of cheesy european house. Very fun/ny.

What a ride the last week and a bit has been - and the internship hasn't even begun! I'm beginning to get used to Bristol and its people and the idea of being here for the next twelve months.

I start at the office tomorrow. It'll be good to be busier, to have a routine and to begin (or continue) exploring what lies ahead.

This weekend has been great. It was Zoë's 20th birthday and we went out in Bristol on Sunday night to celebrate, along with some of the Cardiff gang (Mark, Rob, Sarah-Lou and Sharon). I realised once again what a great bunch of friends I have in Cardiff.

I'm here!
So I'm sat in the Bristol Vineyard office catching up on a web-free few days. Saturday was moving into the 'pink house' and getting unpacked, which was all done within 2 hours.

Emotionally things have been a little weird the last few days. I guess you realise how close you are to your family when you're living away from them (even if only 45 minutes away). Reading Zoë's blog is pretty hard to do without wanting to cry. It's her 20th Birthday on Sunday, so she and some of the guys are coming over and we're going out in Bristol, which should be fun.

Yesterday I went shopping on Park Street and managed to find How to Read the Bible Book by Book, which I've been looking for since Gordon Fee spoke at the Leader's Conference back in March.

This week is flying by. Seeing a variety of friends every night is great fun but the experience is tempered by the fact that we're saying our goodbyes. At least I'll be seeing most of them in the course of the year.

Next Saturday I move to Bristol. This week I'm getting rid of my old cardiffvineyard.org and ntlworld.com email addresses and getting a new address. If you haven't just received an email with my new contact details in and need them, please leave a comment at the bottom of this post and I'll email you with the details.

I won't be publishing my new address on this website because I'm determined to keep spam at bay!

Sing a new song to The Lord?
I just had a look on the CCLI website to find out the 25 most popular songs sung in churches in the UK this year. To be honest I was astonished at the results...

1 Shout To The Lord - Darlene Zschech
2 Be Still - David J. Evans
3 Lord I Lift Your Name On High - Rick Founds
4 Knowing You - Graham Kendrick
5 Come Now Is The Time To Worship - Brian Doerksen
6 Shine Jesus Shine - Graham Kendrick
7 How Deep The Father's Love For Us - Stuart Townend
8 The Servant King - Graham Kendrick
9 Once Again - Matt Redman
10 There Is A Redeemer - Melody Green-Sievright
11 We Want To See Jesus Lifted High - Doug Horley
12 I Will Offer Up My Life - Matt Redman
13 All Heaven Declares - Noel Richards\Tricia Richards
14 The Power Of Your Love - Geoff Bullock
15 Faithful One - Brian Doerksen
16 As The Deer - Martin Nystrom
17 I Will Sing Your Praises - Ian Smale
18 Give Thanks - Henry Smith
19 Jesus Is The Name We Honour - Philip Lawson Johnston
20 Refiner's Fire - Brian Doerksen
21 Majesty - Jack Hayford
22 Celebrate - Patricia Morgan\Dave Bankhead
23 Be The Centre - Michael Frye
24 To Be In Your Presence - Noel Richards
25 Only By Grace - Gerrit Gustafson

One of the things that really stood out to me last week was something Mike Breen said in the last evening talk I recorded. He was talking about how we communicate the message of Jesus to our present culture. The thing that really stood out was this...

"we live in a culture that is high tech and low touch, surrounded by people who long for low tech, high touch relationships."

As you can probably see, yesterday was spent decluttering the sidebar of my blog. For some reason I'm having issues at the moment with blogger, gmail and the settings on my computer.

This morning my New York Lock arrived, weighing in at a hefty 3.8kg. It's definately a beast of a lock and should keep bike theives away, but I'm not sure if the weight is a little excessive (it's about half a stone for those of you on different measurements). I might exchange it for the New York 3000 D-Lock (pictured right)...

Today Mark and I cycled up to Castell Coch, in Tongwynlais. As we rode up the hill, who should pull up but the Turrigianos on their first visit to the holy land. How surreal that we'd be in the same place at the same time.

Sharon is now blogging.

I'm back! I know I said I'd be gone 2 weeks, but I've discovered that when it comes to the conference/festival thing I'm really not all that hardcore. One week at New Wine was enough.

I'm about to leave for New Wine - I'll be there for the next 2 weeks. If you need to get hold of me try 07906 503 995.

Otherwise, have fun!!
And don't forget to see Fahrenheit 9/11.

Update: my cousin, Sarah has a new blog.

I'm enjoying my new Flickr account. It's a great tool for photo-blogging (see right -->)

The last week seems to have been something of a mad rush. Yesterday I had to go shopping and get essentials for moving to Bristol. We survived by taking well-earned rests every so often for coffee or lunch.

Today I visited Chris and we went walking in Cefn Onn Park. We almost got lost and managed to find an amazing view over Cardiff on the one side and Caerphilly on the other while talking philosophy. Good times.

Does anyone who reads this blog have any experience of using one of these:

I've been using a tape-dictaphone to record any inspiration for songs over the last few months. The problem is that the in-built mic is real poor quality. I have a minidisc recorder and was thinking of getting an external mic for it.

On Friday I go to New Wine to work on the ICC recording team for Week A and B, so will be gone for 2 weeks. Then I return for one week before moving to Bristol!

I've just finished what was probably my final shift at the M-Store. This week has been really interesting. It started off a little on the low side - I was feeling pretty down, unfocussed and frustrated.

But on Thursday night at our housegroup God really showed up and brought His refreshing (click here for more).

Last night Mark came around. We went on a long walk with the dog, taking in the fine weather and enjoying the space. We were able to chat some more, sharing thoughts and dreams. A great end to a varied week!

My buddy Mark has a new blog.

Since the Worship Leaders' Retreat, back in June and a conversation I had with Matt I've been reflecting on the call to be practitioners first and "thinkers" second. This might sound a little strange to some of you, especially coming from someone who loves to learn, but I'm really trying to figure out where that fits in with walking with Jesus.

The truth is that a gospel that is purely theoretical, however accurate, is unappealing in equal measure for those not currently following Jesus and those who are. We can theorise about the Kingdom all we like, but until we become "word-workers," those with good "ortho-praxis" to match our good orthodoxy, our faith is questionable. As James says "what's the use of saying you have faith if you don't prove it by your actions? That kind of faith can't save anyone."

I want to be a practitioner, I want to be someone who doesn't shirk his responsibility to usher in the kingdom. It seems that Jesus didn't worry about his disciples' theoretical understanding but instead immersed them in the work of the kingdom and let the understanding follow. He kept experience one step ahead of information. Is it just me or does that sound like more of an adventure?

Why haven't I blogged recently? It's actually because a combination of blogger and the settings on our network has prevented some of my posts appearing...

Last night we returned from Re:fresh, an experience of camping, teaching, frisbee and eating in the Bradfield countryside (just outside Reading). It was good to hang out with some of the extended family that is the Vineyard.

Lack of sleep, cold and too much talking seems to have taken its toll on my system and I spent most of today sleeping and trying to shake off a sore throat.

I'm off to Re:fresh (Vineyard weekend) in a few minutes, but just have time to post about the crazy week that has just been...

As already blogged, Stefan arrived last weekend and has since educated us on the fact that the Swiss are the best at everything (hmmm). On Tuesday Becky and Rachael, our two cousins came to visit. It was great to spend some time with them, catching up on everything that's been going on in each others' lives.

Last night our housegroup went to see Verra Cruz, a great band from St Albans who are also part of this family we call the Vineyard. If you like your hard rock, they're definately one to watch.

Time really seems to be flying and before long I'll be getting used to life across the bridge.

I've just finished Invisible Monsters, a non-linear escapade from Chuck Palahniuk, author of  Fight Club.  On first glimpse the book is a study of the life of a model after having her face blown off.  Only later do you discover a far more sinister plot with twists that keep you guessing right until the end.  The tale is one of self-destruction with the aim of attaining freedom from the constraints of society.

 

Now for a quote from Brandy Alexander:
"I want out of labels.  I don't want my life crammed into a single word.  A story.  I want to find something else, unknowable, some place that's not on the map.  A real adventure..." (p261)

 

It's a story of decadence and is at times very dark.  This is the first book I've read by Palahniuk and I found his writing style is unique and refreshing.  However I did have concerns that in time it may seem clichéd.

I know I'm a bit late with this one, but we've just watched Lost in Translation on DVD. I've heard people say you either love it or hate it, no in-between (the Marmite effect). Anyhow I loved it: from the photography to the music, to the adventure that the movie takes you on. For me it really captured what it's like to be somewhere, surrounded by people and yet disengaged from everything around you.****

9.25am Friday morning, phone rings...
I pick up after a few rings..."hello?"
At first all I hear is background noise, people making people noises.
Then an accented voice "heilo can I speak to Zoë?"
And for some reason I assume it's a phonecall from her bank, from an Indian callcentre.

Accent recognition was obviously not functioning at that time of the morning. Turns out it was Zoë's Swiss friend Stefan from the discipleship course she did in Thailand last summer.

So if anyone (in Cardiff) has any space in their house and would like a Swiss visitor, please let us know! Stefan is currently at the Backpacker hostel.

This summer is beginning to remind me of those of my early-to-mid teens. Being old enough to "look after ones' self" but too young to get a job brought a kind of helpless feeling. This year 'being too young' has been replaced by 'only being available for the next eight weeks.'

While this can, at times, be frustrating I'm sure that God is teaching me stuff that I couldn't learn if everything was 'going to plan.' In my helplessness I'm once again forced into his arms. The whole degree thinghas also brought to light questions of where I find my value. Do I look for affirmation by intellectual means, or do I look to God? Am I trying to satisfy legitimate needs by illegitimate means?

Yesterday I picked up the results for my Law and Politics degree. I got a 2:2, which I was pretty disappointed with at first (having hoped for a 2:1). The reason for my frustration is that I know that, had I chosen to study a subject that I enjoy (as oppose to Law) I would have done much better.

Looking at the breakdown of my results (which my tutor shouldn't really have shown me) I got 2:1s for the modules I enjoyed, but barely revised for, which were the more philosophical ones like 20th Century European Intellectual History. The ones that I did worst at were the hard line Law modules like Trusts and Land Law that I never really wanted to learn.

It sucks knowing that your grade doesn't really reflect your capability, but I guess at least I know for sure that Law really isn't my thing!

There is only one factor that I can put down to me having chosen to study Law and Politics. That is a conversation (aged 17) with Mr Sidoli, one of the RE teachers at my Sixth Form College. He suggested the course because of my interests in subjects like English Literature, Art and Politics. I guess I stuck with it out of sheer stubbornness!

Things have been kind of busy recently.  I'm trying to finish things up here at Cardiff Vineyard before starting a new adventure in Bristol. 

 

I started a Gmail account, but for some reason when I compose a message and click 'send' it does nothing, so I'm looking for another email provider - any suggestions? (I'd rather not go down the ole hotmail route)

 

This week I've been reading two novels, as a light relief from all the intense reading of the last year.  One is The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon, which is a murder mystery written from the perspective of a boy with Asperger's Syndrome (mild autism) and is very interesting.  The other is Painted House by John Grisham, which seems pretty good so far - I love the way he writes. 

Last night we returned from the UK Vineyard Worship Leaders' Retreat. It was a great weekend spent looking at the character and role of a worship leader, worshipping God and rediscovering vision.

Andy Park spoke on worship leaders as priests calling people into the reality of the Kingdom. It was fun meeting (and playing frizbee with) Matt Turrigiano, who I'll be working with next year. Matt spoke on living a life worthy of the call to worship.

Good quotes:
"God can only do through you what he has done to you"
"The Worship Leader (capital W, capital L) is the Holy Spirit, we are just the worship leaders (lowercase w, lowercase l), or lead worshippers"

P.O.H.M
Apparently Australians call the British "Poms." This is pretty funny because the word derives from the phrase "Prisoners Of Her Majesty," which surely means we should be calling them Poms, not vice versa! The things you learn in the Guardian...

We went to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind last night. It's such an interesting and enjoyable movie. Unlike some films it managest to be abstract and artistic, whilst maintaining a purpose. It has depth and takes you on an exploration into the nature of memory.

"As churches across the country become more mission-oriented, there are many informal discussions around the question of whether the ordained minister should not earn his living in a secular calling and participate as anyone else in the life of the church...but the new shaping of the church's life to the needs of the world is going to call for, not less leadership, but a different kind of leadership.  The church is going to be vastly limited in what it can do, if there are not those who can give all their waking hours to building the structures that will call forth the gifts of the laity and equip them for their ministry as pastors and teachers and healers and prophets."
(Elizabeth O'Connor, Journey Inward, Journey Outward)

Two days in a row this week, while riding along the Taff Trail (a local cycle and walking route) I've received verbal abuse from pedestrians. Both times has centered around their believing that the trail is in fact a footpath and that bikes shouldn't be using it.

I've been using this route for years and have been amazed at these recent reactions - could it be the rising temperatures that are evoking this response?

I quit the detox soon after my last post and have felt much better since. It seems you really have to be in it for the long haul to get beyond the tired, hungry stage and into the energy stage (apparently in week 3).

On Thursday night we had a great housegroup. We looked briefly at Power Evangelism (Week 6) and then spent some time praying for each person individually. We should definately do it more often.

Saturday Zoë and I were working at 'The M Store' with Heidi. It was hot, but we were in pretty good spirits and the day went pretty quickly.

Detox
I agreed to try out a detox that Zoë and my Mum are doing for the next month. It's day 3 and I'm feeling sluggish, tired, and pretty hungary. I've eaten a lot of fruit and brown rice, as well as nuts.

Most of the food is pretty tasty, I'm just not finding it filling. I was doing some digging in our garden yesterday and just didn't seem to have as much energy as usual.

We saw Incubus, perhaps California's finest, at Cardiff International Arena last night. Support came from Hundred Reasons who had apparently only had one song to soundcheck, and it showed.

Incubus must have played for 2 hours or more. We had tracks from all their albums, from SCIENCE through to A Crow Left of the Murder. They even covered Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun. While I knew they were a great band, I hadn't realised quite how talented they are. One of the highlights for me was a ten minute drum session with Ben Kenney (Bass) playing snare and symbols, Brandon Boyd (Vocals) playing three djembes, and Jose Pasillas holding it all together on drums.

For the encore Kenney enters the stage and for five minutes entertains us with bass solos (great harmonics), before being joined by the rest of the band for their finale. This included a breakdown in the middle of 'Certain Shade of Green' in which Chris Kilmore (DJ) scratches over the top of some Led Zeppelin.

All in all a great night.

And life begins
It's over! I had the last exam of my degree this morning. Seems strange considering it's a Saturday morning. It was a pretty tough paper - Comparative Law of Religion - four questions in three hours, but at least everyone else said it was tough.

The studying is over and I am feeling that feeling you get when you stop doing something that has taken up most of your time and you're not quite sure what to do with yourself. hmmm...sleep!

So the final hurdle is in sight. Tomorrow morning at 9am I sit my Comparative Law of Religion exam. Then my degree is over and the summer begins.

Tim emailed me a great word of advice a week or two ago: "Never give up for a second before the very very end." I took it to heart because he got a first for his Biology degree after going AWOL for like four months. I'm not aiming for a first (Law just doesn't interest me enough!) but I want to do as well as I can.

I'm pretty unusual in the student world. I always make sure I've had a good night of sleep before embarking on an exam. Filling my blood stream with Coffee and Pro-Plus, in order that I can stay awake all night, just doesn't appeal.

In our house rubber gloves only seem to last a few washes (of pans) before the right hand starts to leak. I'm guessing this is because I always use my right hand to scrub the pans, while the left hand plays a more supportive role.

Are there any left handed people who read this site? If so, do you find that the left hand glove always wears out first? This would help support my theory...perhaps we should set up a trade agreement - exchanging some of our odd left handed gloves for some right handers!

Journey Inward, Journey Outward by Elizabeth O'Connor

I've just started reading this great book telling some of the story of Church of the Saviour.  Here are some of my favourite quotes so far...

 

On community
"Peace is not the object of Christian fellowship, though we have thought it was and have maintained "good" relationships at the terrible expense of not being real with each other.  When this happens, we forego being a people on a pilgrimage together."

 

On the Outward Journey
"If prayer does not drive us out into some concrete involvement at a point of the world's need, then we must question prayer.  If the community of our Christian brothers does not deliver us from false securities and safe opinions and known ways, then we must cry out against that community, for it betrays."

 

On gifts
Quoting Gordon Cosby
"We are not sent into the world in order to make people good.  We are not sent to encourage them to do their duty.  The reason people have resisted the Gospel is that we have gone out to make people good, to help them do their duty, to impose new burdens on them, rather than calling forth the gift which is the essence of the person himself...They can be what in their deepest hearts they know they were intended to be, they can do what they were meant to do."

 

"We begin," Gordon said, "by exercising our own gifts.  The person who is having the time of his life doing what he is doing has a way of calling forth the deeps of another.  Such a person is Good News.  He is not saying the good news.  He is the Good News."

Not all Americans are overweight

I had an interesting conversation tonight when a group of us went for coffee. We stumbled upon a kind of interactive event with vaguely religious undertones. Anyhow I got into a conversation with one of the guys who was running it and he was telling me that "society no longer works on the parish-model, it's more focussed on networks of people who all come from different places to be together [because of shared interests etc.]" (and I'm thinking, what, like a megachurch?)

Now I think what he was getting at was the idea that our communities are no longer the people we meet when walking down the street, they're the people we meet when we get in our cars and drive to an event. And that Church should mimic that.

This goes against all my instincts regarding community. I really do feel that in order to build deep, growing, lasting relationships you need proximity. If and when I know where God wants me to start a community I will make sure that I live with and near the people with whom I build.

If you like a good story, check out Kim Johnson's blog. It seems that Fred Durst is more intelligent than his musical genre would suggest. Oh, and check out this interview with the 'new face of the BNP.'

Summer work
I finish Uni on the 5th June and I'm trying to work out what to do with the 12 weeks before I start at Bristol Vineyard. I might try and get a summer job, although I'm not really sure where to find them. It seems that most employers want you for longer than 12 weeks.

Any suggestions? Comment below.

This afternoon we visited Steve and Claire at the Pink house (which isn't pink but is a house) and met little Megan. I'm going to be living with them next year, when I intern at Bristol Vineyard. I'm really looking forward to this new leg of the journey, a new adventure.

My ears are finally clear! I just had them syringed. Last night at housegroup I asked for prayer for them and God clearly had other things in mind. As soon as they started praying for me I sensed that what God actually wanted to do was increase my passion for following Him. Very cool, if not quite what I had requested.

By the way, the link for Zoë, my little sister's blog is here.

The Dreaded Trusts Exam
This morning I sat my penultimate exam - Trust Law. Those of you who have been around me this past year will know that Trusts has been the biggie, the one module that I have found hardest.

When I arrived at the exam I was surprised at how stressed out everyone seemed, this bunch of final year Law students anticipating the mother of all law exams. It seemed that everyone had revision aids in their hands.

Anyhow, I got into the exam, sat down, prayed, waited, prayed, stretched, filled out my form. The exam started and, guess what...it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. There were three questions that I could have a good crack at. My only reservation is that I ran out of time on the last question, which also happened to have been my favourite one, so ended up scribbling down bullet points and not really concluding properly. I'm just hoping that this won't drag the mark down too much.

Earache
Last night at 4am I woke up with real intense pain in my ear. It is also completely deaf. I'm off to see the doctor at 10.20am. I'd really appreciate your prayers because this week is the most intensive of my final exams and I really need to finish revising and get good, full nights of sleep.

Yawn...
Today was exam number 1. Contemporary Political Theory. Here are the questions I answered:
1. If Rawls's 'Original Position' is purely hypothetical, can it adequately justify his two principles of justice?
2. Should obligations of care supplant obligations of justice? Discuss with reference to Gilligan and Tronto.
3. Evaluate Rorty's claim that the ironist can be a committed liberal.
I was pretty happy with those.

Last night I finished revising at about 9.20 and ran myself a bath, with candles and Jack Johnson playing in the background. May sound sad, but it's the best way I've found to chill out, although Johnson has only been added to the mix since Zoë got back from New Zealand. Before him it was trip hop like Zero 7 or Massive attack that got me chilling.

Generally I just sit there and say to God: "ok, now I've done all I can do, I'm trusting you for the rest..." Which really isn't all that true because He got me through the bit I'm claiming credit for too!

Today I've had a pretty productive day, despite being mildly distracted by the torrential rain and even thunder and lightning that has been going on, not to mention the buzz of parents preparing to go on holiday.

I've managed to cover Dishonest Assistance, Knowing Receipt and Quistclose Trusts in just a matter of hours. The exam on Thursday is Contemporary Political Theory, so tonight I'll be dabbling in Rawls, Nozick and Parekh.

This is my first blog via email.  I'm glad blogger have finally added this new feature for regular, non paying users.  This really does seem to go against the general web principle of getting people using products and then gradually taking features away unless paid for... 

Today I've been thinking a bit about this. I've found myself affected by circumstances a little more than usual and I think it's because during exam times my emotional energy levels drop. The problem is it gets hard to justify taking time to recharge when the clock is ticking...

Todd Hunter on his new role as President of Alpha USA...

"Alpha is communal – they eat dinner together and share normal social time together. It was also relational; you are encouraged to be real and even assert things that are counter to Christianity, and the Alpha “insiders” are trained to listen and ask more questions. I observed a huge trust in the work of the Spirit. All of these are the selfsame values I would often discuss with emerging church leaders...[read more]"

(thanks to Eric Keck and Off the Map)

A few words from godspeed you! black emperor...

"a community isn't just the people you meet at mcdonald's to have coffee with" [read more]

from their website

I'm not sure I'll be blogging all that much over the next few weeks. It's time to get my head down and focus on preparing for my exams, which start on the 12th May and finish on the 5th June.

Kill Bill Marathon
Last night Jon, Jennie, Zoë and I did the Kill Bill Marathon. We watched Part I at our place on DVD and then went into town to see the second installment. It's definitely one long film, rather than two short ones, I think they only sliced it in two to make it more commercially viable.

Anyhow the second part was not a disappointment. There's more of Tarantino's trademark film making: great attention to detail and challenging established norms.

In this instance I love the way he adds everyday dialogue to a genre which is normally free of such things. My favourite example is when Budd is making a cocktail and his mixer is buzzing, making lots of noise, while Elle Driver carries on talking. You miss what she says first of all, but then Budd asks her to repeat, just as you would in every day speech.

That's about as much as I should say without giving too much away, but go see.